Friday, November 24, 2006

Book(s): The Lutheran Handbooks

The Lutheran Handbook
These books are not constitutions or by laws but easy to read books abou God and living the Christian life

The essential field guide for all things Lutheran. For anyone hiking the trails of life's adventures and challenges — will want to pack this handy illustrated field guide to Lutheran theology and culture. This enjoyable, easy-to-read, reliable, all-in-one collection helps you understand the essential information about our theology, culture and Lutheran way of life. Organized by Church Stuff, Everyday Stuff and Bible Stuff with how-to's like "How to Forgive Someone" and lists like "The Top-10 Bible Villains." Encapsulates essential principles of the Christian life, making many of the complexities of our religious tradition accessible for contemporary seekers.

What the publisher says: "This is a fun book that affirms that Lutherans can (and must!) continue to laugh at themselves! It takes God very seriously but helps the reader to 'lighten-up!' It reminds me of the quote, 'Laughter is another way of crossing ourselves!' From the picture of Luther on the cover (is this his confirmation photo?) to the final pages of 'tongue in check' humor, these pages are a great mix of what life is all about — hurts and hoorays, Good Fridays and Easters, life and death, praying and playing!

What others say:
R Stout an amazon customer: You have no idea how excited I've been about this book. It's a thing of pure beauty. It is history, geography, sociology, practicality, theology, and -- perhaps most importantly -- great oozing masses of offbeat humor. It is hands-down the best single piece of popular religious writing and armchair theology that I've seen. Funny, intelligent, down-to-earth, comically illustrated, and irreverent. It's everything you need to see what good, orthodox, traditional Christianity is all about. (And it's a good tool for defense against extremist nutjobs!) It's set up in the same format as the ever-famous Worst Case Scenario guides. From chapters on camparative religion, a family tree of Christian denominations, and anatomical drawings of a proper Crucifixion, to a history of the Church, Medieval life, and good orthodox Christian theology, this book is perfect for people who know nothing of religion, perfect for Christians of any stripe, and perfect for life-long Lutherans.
My home parish bought 100 of them and sold out immediately. My work parish just ordered 25 and we've already pre-sold several. Did I mention there's a section on HOW TO AVOID BEING BURNED AT THE STAKE? Also tips on what to request if you can't avoid being burned at the stake. I kid you not. Another list includes ways to cast the Devil out from your presence. #6 is "break wind," and is noted as one of Luther's favorites. Also included:
How to Stay Alert During a Boring Church Service
Five Grossest Bible Stories
Five Weirdest Old Testament Laws
How to Perform a Crucifixion
How to Reform the Church History's
Six Most Notorious Heretics
Three Most Rebellious Things Jesus Did
Five Funniest Stories in the Bible
I've highlighted the humor, but this handbook is no satire. It is a serious, joyous, and thoroughly Christian document meant to educate, entertain, and deepen one's relationship with God and Christ's Church. It also includes guides on how to appreciate liturgy, how to deepen your experience of a worship service, how to find famous stories in the Bible, how to understand miracles, how to approach Scripture, how to live as a Christian in your everyday life... Honestly, this book is simply priceless. By all means, buy it, and pick a few copies up for your friends and loved ones.



The Lutheran Handbook on Marriage
In this book you will find:

The Lutheran Model for Marriage and Its Biblical Forerunners
The Five Stages of the Luther/von Bora Marriage
Katharina von Bora's Herring Barrel Escape from the Convent
Five Noteworthy Things Martin Luther Said about Marriage
Portrait of Martin and Katie
Five Faithful Couples in the Bible
Five Unfaithful Couples in the Bible
The Five Most Interesting Things Paul Said about Marriage
The Three Most Interesting Things the Song of Solomon Says Dating & Courtship
Ten Rules for the First Date
The Top Ten Attributes to Look for in a Spouse
How to Probe for Your Prospective Spouse's True Religious Views
The Five Most Effective Ways to Pop the Question The Wedding
Anatomy of a Lutheran Wedding
How to Plan a Lutheran Wedding
How to Select Your Maid of Honor or Best Man
How to Make Mutually Satisfactory Decisions about the Wedding
The Five Most Overused Wedding Bible Readings
Five Fresh Bible Wedding Readings
The Five Most Overused Wedding Hymns
Five Fresh Wedding Hymns
How to Light the Unity Candle without Setting the Bride's Hair on Fire
How to Respond When the Groomsman or Bridesmaid Faints
Five Common Wedding Ceremony Emergencies and How to Handle Them The First Year
How to Train Your Spouse
How to Merge Household Possessions
How to Merge Household Finances
How to Share a Car
How to Maintain Your Own Friendships
The Five Most Important Things to Remember When Choosing Your First Home
How to Decorate a Lutheran Home
How to Choose a Church Home Together
How to Establish a Routine of Daily Devotions
How to Keep Christ at the Center of a Marriage
How to Negotiate Where You Go for the Holidays
How to Prevent In-Law Encroachment
How to Prepare for an In-Law Visit
How to Respond to an In-Law's Nosy Question
Seven Common Moments in Which You Should Think before You Speak
How to Identify an Ill Spouse
Four Biblical Passages to Quote When You Call Your Spouse by an Old Flame's Name
How to Make Your Marriage a Springboard for Ministry
How to Use Your Spiritual Gifts in Your Marriage
How to Forge a Strong Second Marriage
How to Parent Your Spouse's Children Early Years
How to Manage a Household Calendar
How to Start and Maintain Your Own Holiday Traditions
How to Choose Your Child's Godparents
How to Get Your Family to Church on Sunday Morning
How to Pack a Diaper Bag for Worship
The Top Five Criteria for Evaluating the Church Nursery before Putting Your Kids in There
How to Handle Your Child's Non-Lutheran Friendships
How to Adopt a Child
How to Enjoy a Successful Marriage without Children Middle Years
How to Survive the Seven-Year Itch
How to Date Your Spouse and Keep Things Spicy
How to Balance Work, Home, and Church
How to Preserve Your Marriage through Your Kids' Adolescent Years
Ten Tips for Surviving the "Sandwich Generation" Years
How to Handle a Career Change
How to Recognize a Midlife Crisis
How to Maintain Your Marriage as You and Your Spouse Change Later Years
Ten Effective Ways to Dislodge Your Adult Children from Your Home
How to Survive after Your Kids Leave Home
How to Spoil Your Grandchildren Rotten
How to Grandparent Other Peoples' Kids
How to Survive Your Spouse?s Retirement
How to Retire without Ruining Your Marriage
Seven Rewarding Ways to Spend Time after Retirement
How to Support Your Spouse through a Serious Illness
How to Honor Your Spouse?s Memory
How to Plan Your Own Funeral
How to Leave a Legacy Money, Sex, & Other Fractious Issues
How to Navigate an Interdenominational or Interfaith Marriage
How to Get Your Spouse to Accompany You to Church
How to Plan Your Lutheran Vacation
How to Resolve Marital Conflict
Common Marriage "Stressors" and How to Manage Them as a Team
How to Talk to Your Spouse about Money
How to Write a Will (to Prevent a Posthumous Fight over Your Assets)
How to Write Living Wills Together
How to Plan for Retirement
How to Talk to Your Spouse about Sex
The Top Five Ways to Strengthen Marital Communication The Top Ten In-Law Issues and How to Deal with Them
How to Be Gracious to Your Spouse?s Friends Even When You Don't Really Like Them
How to Avoid Being Triangulated by the Kids
How to Decide Who Does What around the House
How to Share the TV Remote Control





The Lutheran Handbook for Pastors

This book contains:

Call Stuff
How to Know if You're Called to Be a Pastor
Luther's Call to Ministry
Seven Critical Pieces of Pastoral Advice Luther Gave
Luther's Five Biggest Pastoral Dilemmas and How He Handled Them
How to Avoid Becoming the Pastor You Swore You'd Never Be and Become the Pastor You Always Wanted to Be
How to Manage Your Relationship with the Bishop
Five Important Ways the Lutheran Confessions Define Pastoral Ministry
Seven Things Luther and the Reformers Said about Ministry
How to Know When It's Time to Find a New Call
Seven Things to Keep in Mind When You Interview For a New Call
What to Do When You Find Out You're the Wrong Person for the Call You're In
How to Retire from Ministry Gracefully Administrative Stuff
Five Tips on Hiring the Right Personnel to Make a Great Ministry Team
Thirty Subjects You Should Never Ask about in an Interview for New Staff
How to Empower Your Staff to Do Good Work
Five Things Senior Pastors Can Do to Endear Themselves to Their Staff
How to Run a Staff Meeting
How to Fire Someone When You Really Have to
How to Get the Best Out of the Church Administrative Assistant
How to Relate Effectively to a Senior Colleague
How to Relate Effectively to a Junior Colleague
Five Common Pitfalls Solo Pastors Fall into and How to Avoid Them
Ten Tips for Building Effective Pastoral Relationships in a Congregation
Four Unlikely Leaders in the Bible and What You Can Learn from Them
How to Release Your Congregation's Ability to Develop a Vision for Ministry
How to Delegate
How to Enable Your Congregation to Live as the Priesthood of all Believers
How to Participate in a Committee Meeting without Having to Be in Charge
How to Take Charge of a Committee Meeting When it Gets Off Track
How to Support and Empower Your Church Council without Becoming a Dictator or a Wallflower
How to Survive an Annual Meeting
Ten Things about Parish Ministry They Didn't Teach You in Seminary
How to Read a Congregational Financial Statement (and Why it's Important)
How to Manage Your Calendar
How to Carve Out Time for Sermon Preparation
How to Lead a Retreat Pastoral Stuff
How To Follow Jesus As Your Pastoral Model
How And When To Respond To A Request For Pastoral Care
How To Make An Effective Hospital Visit
How To Make An Effective Home Visit
How To Make An Effective Shut-in and Care-Facility Visit
Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Parishioner
How To Use The Grapevine To Support Your Ministry
How To Identify A Church Alligator
How To Avoid Getting Triangulated
How To Manage Habitual Office Drop-In Visitors So You Can Get Your Work Done
How To Remain Calm In A Crisis Situation
How To Mentally Prepare For A Funeral
Seven Preachers In The Bible and What Made Them Great
How To Preach A Prophetic Word Without Getting Fired
Three Clean Ice-Breaker Jokes For Use With Church Crowds
How To Preach A Stewardship Sermon Without Sounding Like You're Begging for a Raise
How To Create A Climate of Care, Love, and Openness In Your Congregation
How To Conduct Yourself at an Ecumenical Worship Service
How to Deal With Disgruntled Transfers From Other Churches
How To Drink Coffee
How To Accept Cookies and Other Goodies Without Gaining Weight
How To Listen To The Same Story For The 100th Time And Feign Interest
How To Respond When You Forget A Parishioner's Name
Five Ways To Handle The Tacky Gifts Parishioners Give You Worship Stuff
Ten Things You Should Never Say during Worship
How to Welcome Visitors
How to Ad-Lib a Prayer, Blessing, or Benediction
How to Use Your Family Members as Sermon Illustrations without Alienating Them or Boring the Congregation
How to Preach without Notes
How to Wing a Sermon When You Forget Your Notes at Home
How to Use Pronouns and Verbs in a Sermon
Eight Common Hand Gestures to Use with Your Sermon
Ten Uses for Old Sermon Manuscripts
How to Recover When You Lose Your Place or Forget...
How to Recruit Worship Assistants Discreetly When Someone Doesn't Show Up
How to Handle a Ringing Cell Phone during Worship
How to Handle Loudspeaker Feedback
How to Recover from an Open-Mike Gaffe
How to Respond to a Shrieking Child Incident
Five Common Wedding Faux Pas and How to Avoid Them
How to Survive an Anxious Wedding Party Personal Stuff
How to Recover from Christmas and Easter Overload
How to Stay Fit
How to Maintain Your Personal Devotional Life
How to Keep Up on Current Trends in Theology, Even When You're Busy
How to Maintain a Social Life as a Single Pastor
How to Keep Both Your Job and Your Family
Five Ways to Help Your Marriage Thrive Despite the Demands of the Job
How to Avoid Answering Personal Questions
How to Get Out of a Traffic Ticket
The Pros and Cons of Wearing a Clergy Shirt

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