A story of forgiveness

Recently in an AFL game West Coast Eagles player Andrew Gaff hit a Fremantle  Dockers player Andrew Brayshaw in the mouth, behind the play, breaking his jaw. 
The issue caused some controversy in the media and amongst football followers. 
A few days later Andrew Brayshaw's father publicly stated he forgives Andrew Gaff and asks others to do the same, read the full story here
https://wwos.nine.com.au/2018/08/08/06/41/andrew-brayshaws-dad-pleads-for-forgiveness-for-andrew-gaff-over-punch

Reflection: Why forgiveness is important...even in sport

The Essendon Football Club peptide saga has finally had some closure. This has been a messy affair not just for Essendon, but also the Australian Football League, the media, supporters and anyone affected.

Whenever life is messy often there are strong opinions, (some informed and some not so well informed). If some people had their way, Essendon, James Hird and everyone else involved in the saga would have been severely punished, tossed aside and abolished from the game, others are at the other end of the spectrum and for them nothing would have happened.

However the AFL in dealing with this matter has made some very clear statements: 

• player welfare is absolutely important 
• there must be integrity and fairness for all clubs 
• illegal and sports enhancing drugs are not welcome 
• breaking AFL rules will result in consequences 
• we are a forgiving family

Andrew Demetriou, the CEO of the AFL (and others in the AFL) highlighted that forgiveness is an important part of the AFL, when they said there is always room for forgiveness in the AFL family. For many people forgiveness may seem strange and even a problem. However there is good reason for forgiveness to be an important value in any family or community. Basically it helps people deal healthily with their imperfections and mistakes, it encourages good relationships and makes for a stronger community.

Forgiveness is the number one priority for God and His church, it is God’s and our main message as Christians. We all need forgiveness from God (check out John 3:16-17 and Acts 13:38) but it is not just something we are asked to receive from God, we are called to be forgiving people (check out Colossians 3:13). At one stage in His ministry Jesus was asked by one of his closest companions how many times must I forgive my brother (I am sure you have asked this question about someone). Jesus’ response was, “not just once, not just seven times, but a whole lot” (you can read about this in Matthew 18:21-35). When we forgive we can live in better relationships on earth, we help others grow and we be part of a stronger community.

Like the AFL demonstrated this week, forgiveness does not come easy, it involves people saying sorry and it does not necessarily mean that someone gets away with something. There are earthly consequences when we need forgiveness, however good consequences will help us and help the community but forgiveness should always be our priority and it is God’s priority for you

Something to reflect on
Where have you lived inconsistently to what God says in His bible? Pray to God to forgive you because of what Jesus has done on the cross and by rising from the dead, ask Him also to help you live differently.
Where are there bad or poor relationships in your life? Pray about a plan to deal with these relationships, to talk to those concerned, to address the issues that have caused the poor relationship, admit how you have contributed to the problems and look for ways you can show forgiveness to others.

Illustration of grace: Graceful response to a hurtful situation

How have you responded when you have been hurt?   With revenge?  With determination that someone should be punished?  With a view of forgiveness?  With a view of wanting to help?
Well here is a story that is inspiring and shows great leadership when you are offended.

On 24th May 2013 the Sydney Swans played Colingwood at the MCG in round 9 of the Australian Football League...it was the first game of the round...and the round was dedicated to the indigenous community.   

In the final quarter one of the stars of the Sydney Swans, an indigenous player, Adam Goodes, was racially vilified by a young Collingwood supporter....

The young supporter was reported by Adam Goodes and a Collingwood footballer Darren Jolly which lead to her being evicted from the ground....

Adam Goodes was upset at being racially vilified...so left the ground 

What followed is a lesson of grace and humility from all parties, and how to deal with a sin graciously..

The opposition club President Eddie Maguire sort out Goodes immediately after the game to apologise on behalf of the club...
Players from other clubs contacted Goodes to offer support.

However one of the most intriguing responses was from Adam Goodes himself....He was still concerned and upset for being racially abused....however He wasn't after revenge...instead he showed genuine concern for the girl that she could be crucified for this mistake...
and when she contacted him to apologise...he let everyone know she had apologised..




Read the full transcript of his media release

QUESTION: How are you feeling about last night?
GOODES: Yeah look, I'm pretty gutted to be honest. The win was the first of its kind in 40 years. To win by 47 points against Collingwood, to play such a pivotal role just sort of means nothing, you know, to come to the boundary line and hear a 13-year-old girl call me an ape. And it's not the first time on the footy field I've been referred to as a monkey or an ape. It was shattering.
I turned around and when I saw it was a young girl and I thought she was 14, that was my initial thought, I was just like 'really?'. I just thought how could that happen? And all this week, you know, this week is a celebration of our people and our culture and the absolute privilege of meeting the great man Nicky Winmar two days ago now and what he's been able to do for us 20 years ago and to be able to make a stand myself and say racism has a face last night and, you know, it was a 13-year-old girl but it's not her fault.
She's 13, she's still so innocent, I don't put any blame on her. Unfortunately it's what she hears, the environment she's grown up in that has made her think it's ok to call people names. I can guarantee you right now she would have no idea, you know, how it makes anyone feel by calling them an ape. Um, I think, you know, it was just the name calling that she was doing and unfortunately it cut me deep and it affected me so much that I couldn't even be on the ground last night to celebrate a victory to indigenous round and I'm still shattered personally, yeah it's tough. Loving the support of my friends and family and people in the social media, it's fantastic.
But I think the person that needs the most support is the little girl, you know. People need to get around her, she's 13, she's uneducated. You know if she wants to pick up the phone and call me and apologise, I'll take that phone call and I'll have a conversation with that girl about 'You know what, you called me a name, this is how it made me feel', and it's school stuff, it is school stuff.
And that's what it took me back to last night, I felt I was in high school again, being bullied, being called all these names because of my appearance. I didn't stand up for myself in high school, I'm a lot more confident, I'm a lot more proud about who I am and my culture, and I decided to stand up last night and I'll continue to stand up because racism has no place in our industry, it has no place in our society. Hopefully any person out there that has been name called, that has been verbally abused, can stand up for themselves after what happened last night.

Is this the lowest point in your career?

I don't know if it's the lowest in my career, but personally I don't think I've ever been more hurt by someone calling me a name than I was last night. Not because of what was said, but from where it came from.  It just hit me that it wasn’t a Collingwood issue or an AFL issue, but a society issue and it’s an issue of what our parents are teaching our kids. My mum taught me to treat people the way I want to be treated and after being verbally abused as a child growing up, I never want anyone to feel abused, verbally, about your race, about being black, about your appearance.  And hopefully today people hearing this message, they can understand that it's unacceptable and it hurts. It doesn't just hurt me, it hurts my brother, my mother, it hurts my family, it hurts my non-indigenous friends. They're embarrassed, they're apologising. I said to them, 'don't apologise. It's got nothing to do with you'. They apologise because it still happens and we're not educating our children, we're not educating people enough about how it is hurtful.

Adam, do you think this is a line in the sand moment? The positives as you've mentioned and the support you've been given may support people.

I hope it does, I hope standing here and telling people how it has affected me helps people out there. Helps people who have done it in the past know that a simple name, a simple word can cut so deep. Because it happens everywhere, it happens in the schoolyard, at sporting events, it happens while playing sport. People need to know it's hurtful and the people that don’t stand up for it, it hurts them so much that they don't want to. It still hurts just as much it does for me.  But whether they have the people to support them like I've had, I've had fantastic support in the last 24 hours. And like I've said, I just hope they give the 13-year-old the same sort of support because she needs it, her family need it, the people around them need it. It's not a witch hunt. I don't want people to go after this young girl. We just need to educate our society better so it doesn't happen again.

(Inaudible) How would you suggest, what would you want to see (inaudible) the way this issue is dealt with in the future?

I think what we're seeing is standing up for it. Twenty years ago Nicky Winmar stood up at Victoria Park and said enough is enough. I'm standing up last night saying it's still happening, it still happens and it's a shame that it's a 13-year-old girl, that's the sad thing about it, so sad, and that's what hurts me the most, she's a young girl and has no idea what she's called me, no significance of what it means. So it's education, it's me standing here telling you that a simple word like ape can cut me so deep, it's derogatory, it's not only me, it hurts all black people everywhere.



Do you feel like you were representing just yourself last night?
Not at all, I always go out to represent my football club and who I am, a young (inaudible) man and um, if people have a problem with me, say it to me. If you're gonna hurt my feelings, then I'm going to point you out. It was just really sad, and like I said before, we need to support our children better and help educate them more. Parents have to take responsibility for that.

If you had the opportunity to speak to the parents, what would you say?
Oh, there's no doubt you know, the support that I'm getting on social media, she's getting the opposite. And I feel sorry for her. Like is said before, she doesn’t know what she's said. She's saying things that she hears whether she's watching TV at home, or if she's at school or with her friends if they talk like this. She doesn’t know exactly what she's saying, there's no way. She's too innocent for that. And I just want her to know that it hurts, it hurts people to name call.  There's no doubt that she's been name called at school or been bullied, she knows how that makes her feel, so why do it to other people. I just hope that she does have that support, and the message here is that there is no place for racism in sport, no place for racism in society and I'm going to continue to stand up here and say it until, you know, it gets completely rid of. Hopefully one day that will happen.


I have no idea, Nicky Winmar stood there 20 years ago just saying, you know what? I'm black and I'm proud. Because his actions were fantastic, hopefully my words today help educate people today as well. Look, they're consequences for the AFL to deal with, um, my care is for myself, my football club and that little girl because she needs support right now, and people really need to get around her and support her.

In your 15 to 16 years in the game, have things improved?
Definitely, one hundred per cent they're improved, to come to football, and Nicky Winmar just over there can tell you, to come to the football and just rock up and play football and just do your best on your own merits, that's what it’s about, we've created that environment.  The AFL have been fantastic at doing that, it's just there is one off people out there who are uneducated, and they need to be educated. It's up to the media, it's up to myself, it's up to the AFL, it's up to society, it's up to parents to join in and say there's no place for racism in our society.

The fact that it was indigenous round - did that upset you the most? The fact that there's been so much publicity around it?
Mate, it could have been grand final day and I would still be feeling exactly the same - so disappointed, so heartbroken. Whether it was indigenous round or not, let's be clear, it is indigenous round, it's a fantastic week of football, the community get behind it so well, support it, they've got the Dreamtime at the G’ game today, I'm going to be at Etihad stadium this afternoon to watch my brother play for the first time, it's a fantastic round of football and there's a lot to celebrate. Yeah it didn’t start out great last night and that’s what people are going to focus on, but I want people to focus on the rest of the seven games, it is indigenous round and we’ve got a lot to be proud of.

Adam, when you say its not the first time that you have been referred to in these terms, I ask what have been the other circumstances? Has it been from the crowd? Has it been from other players?
Other players.

How recently?
We're talking in the last ten years.

And from the crowd at all?
No.

When do you think the penny will drop? How much longer will it go on for?

Well I think it won't. People are still going to have children, they're still going to raise their kids, we're still going to have an influence on the environment that children are going to grow up in. It's up to everyone of us to stand up for things when we think that's not right, and we always have those thoughts in our heads, whether we're on a tram or a train, out in the park we see people saying things to each other. You've got an option, you can turn your back and keep walking, or you can help that person, support that person, say 'you know what, that's not on we don't do that around here, if you're gonna do that, piss off somewhere else'.

Did you and your teammates sit down last night and have a chat about it?

Yeah of course, they all wanted to know, and that was when I finally felt a lot better, was being around my teammates and the support, to sing the song after the game just took my mind away, but just to explain to the boys what was said, how much it affected me and how they got around me and that's what's so great about team sports they care about you more than anything else and the support I get at my football club is unbelievable.

Do have faith that one day we can stamp this out for good? We thought we'd come a long way, obviously we haven't come that far. Will there be a day when its gone?

No, I didn't say that we haven’t come that far, we've definitely come a long way and we're going to continue to come a long way, and like I said before, it's the group of people right here that are going to have the most impact - the media, Andrew Demetriou, Nicky Winmar and myself continually standing up for what's right. We're not going to stand for racism in our sport, our game.

You're clearly angry, do you want the girl banned? what would you like the AFL to do? Obviously educate her but, but what would you like to see happen?

Yeah look, the police asked me if I wanted to press charges last night. I didn’t want to press charges. Like I said before, she's a 13-year-old girl, we need to educate her, we need to support her, it's such a sad, sad case and we just need to support this young girl. It's out of my hands now. The police said 'do you want to charge her?' I said no, it's now up to the AFL and what they want to do with it, I just hope that she gets some support.

Would you like to speak to her, to explain what she's done?

Do you know, I would love for her to off her own bat and want, want to apologise. I think me wanting to talk to her, she's not taking responsibility, she's got to take a little bit of responsibility that 'you know what, I've done the wrong thing' and then be honest to me, 'you know I really don't know what I was saying last night, I apologise', and then I would open up and say: 'this is what it actually means for you to say this to me, and how hurtful it is, not just for me but for my family, and everyone associated with me'.

Do you think she realised?

No, she was shocked mate, she was really shocked and that's what hurt me so bad, it's when I turned around, I just saw this young face and I was just, it was just sad, like it was so sad and I think the worst thing for me was to actually come off, because I just sat there for a minute and it just hit me, that's why I had to leave the arena, it just broke my heart.


Adam, you're saying how sad it is, do you urge others to stop attacking his girl on Twitter, saying 'name and shame her, ban her for life'?
Yeah definitely, I haven't gotten on Twitter because I'm still emotionally affected by whats happened and I don't want to put anything out there that's going to be written purely on emotion. People do need to cut this girl some slack, she's a young kid and kids are innocent and I've got no doubt in my mind that she had no idea what she was calling me last night, and we need to help educate her and educate society that things like this are hurtful and not only hurtful to individuals but to groups of people.

Given how hurtful it is to you, and it's going to be difficult for you to move forward, how do you move forward? You're probably going to remember this for the rest of your life.
I move forward, it's what we do. This is not the first time I've been racially abused. It affects me, it affects my family, everytime I read a message from one of my friends it affects me because they're telling me how much they love me, how much they support me, how sad they are and it's going to happen for a while and its unfortunate but that's the way it is. I'll move on, I'll get stronger, hopefully today helps other people.

Forgiveness by Matthew West... song and story behind the song

Stories and songs are two of the most effective ways in communicating the faith.....
stories that are real and link to God's approach to life are effective and transforming....
songs are away of helping us remember and proclaim God's approach to life.....

Matthew West is a song writer with a mission to put stories into song.....
He was sent a story of forgiveness and the impact it has had on people and has translated that it to song....

Listen to the story.....




Hear the song 

The real challenge: keeping forgiveness central

Recently I have been involved in a discussion that how difficult our challenge is in being church and ministering to others.
Here are some of my comments from that discussion.

The fringes and others will always struggle with the church and Christianity whilst they believe life and the church is all about looking good, being better and having good morals. And at times the church and Christianity haven't helped in this area because it has been unwilling to stand up to society about how important forgiveness is.
When we focus on forgiveness some people get disturbed, (recently I had a mother ask my why the church emphasises forgiveness rather than morals surely morals are more important?).
Sure people are happy to receive forgiveness themselves but feel short changed when others receive it.
For most of the fringes and others, forgiveness is a nice but not an essential thing for life. As a consequence they can't see how a person can really be a Christian and sin. (Remember the whohar about Kevin Rudd and the strippers.)

Surely our challenge is to help people see how helpful, how beneficial, how important, how essential and how central forgiveness is for life.
Forgiveness is not some accessory to our relationships with God and others but the necessity.
Also helping people see it also not about covering up a person's sin but about dealing with it.
Maybe as Christians, churches and pastors we need to be more forthright and clear in how forgiveness works, what it means to be forgiven and what it means to forgive!!!

What are your thoughts?

A story: Forgiveness, everyone benefits (except the opposition)

In Australia, the Australian rules football grand final was played and won by Geelong. (they hadn't won a grand final in 44 years)

One player, Steve Johnson, by the conclusion of the game had collected a premiership medal, the Norm Smith medal for best on ground, 4 goals and an All Australian jumper for being one of the best players in the AFL that season. However without forgiveness from the Geelong Football Club leadership team Steve Johnson wouldn't have played one single game.

Since 2002, the year he was drafted Steve Johnson he messed up numerous times. He had broken team rules and been arrested on numerous occasions. At the end of 2006 at a function and affected by alcohol he jumped a fence and badly injured his ankle. The club told him to go, consider his future, reflect on his life and get his act together during the off season...It was during this time that he was again arrested for drunk and disorderly (this was at least the third time he had been arrested for alcohol related issues). Many football 'experts' and commentators were saying he had had enough chances and should be discarded.

The Geelong Football Club however approached things slighltly differently. Yes they did deliver some consequences to Steve Johnson as a result of his actions. They banished him from the senior side (playing and training) indefinitely and indicated that they would not look at his situation again until after round five, no matter what happened. At the same time however they gave him the opportunity again to improve, they placed him in the reserves team and more importantly placed some people around him to develop a closer relationship with him and help him with some of his issues.

During this time some things happened. His attitude changed. He realised that he was the problem for many of the issues, and that his love of alcohol caused many of the problems. So he gave up the alcohol. Leaders at Geelong publicly stated he was not just focussed on himself, he was now team focussed and he committed himself more to training and improving not just for himself but the team.

Then in round 6 he was welcomed back into the senior team, by the leadership group at Geelong Football Club....and everyone has now benefited (except of course the opposition) because Geelong Football Club dared to forgive and work through the difficult task of forgiveness.

Maybe this is what Jesus was talking about when he says forgive the same person seven times in a day....or St Paul spoke about in 2 Corinthians 2:1-11, Colossians 3:1-17

Book: Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace

by Miroslav Volf



A 256 page book on how we can be transformed by the God who gives abundantly and who forgives unconditionally.

From the Back Cover
We are at our human best when we give and forgive. But we live in a world in which it makes little sense to do either one. In our increasingly graceless culture, where can we find the motivation to give? And how do we learn to forgive when forgiving seems counterintuitive or even futile? A deeply personal yet profoundly thoughtful book, Free of Charge explores these questions and the further questions to which they give rise – in light of God’s generosity and Christ’s sacrifice for us.
Miroslav Volf draws from popular culture as well as from a wealth of literary and theological sources, weaving his rich reflections around the sturdy frame of Paul’s vision of God’s grace and Martin Luther’s interpretation of that vision. Blending the best of theology and spirituality, he encourages us to echo in our own lives God’s generous giving and forgiving. A fresh examination of two practices at the heart of the Christian faith– giving and forgiving –
In 2006 the Anglican Church in England used it as its Lenten Study